i’m back. i can’t explain why i decided to stop writing exactly. i think part of the reason was that i didn’t want to hurt anyone. i can officially proceed seeing as though i have finally burned all of those bridges. my intentions were not cruel or ill intended, they just were necessary for me to move forward. my heart and head are so full of love and i seem to have an issue meeting like minded individuals who share those same values. i do believe opposites attract and for some reason i am always left with a scar. there is not one single encounter that i regret, i believe every one has been important. i know a good person quickly, and usually i can see the bad ones too. other times i think i want to be the person who evokes real change in someone. what i’m finally coming to realize is that i can only control me, myself, and i. i also have been gaining more confidence in the fact the people overall really don’t care that much. i tend to take things way to personally and i’m still trying to sort that portion of myself out. i don’t want to be so jaded by all the things i’ve been through, instead i want to continue to make people laugh and love the way i normally do. as far as the boys…well let’s be real i have had my moments and i think the fires are finally extinguished. and if they aren’t, well i’m getting there and i’m beyond ready for the bad anxiety to diminish. i have no excuse really for crossing the line the way i have, but i do know the root of why i tend to explode. i have flown over 200,000 miles this year by myself. now i wouldn’t take a mile back or begin to complain about having a great job, but it does get lonely. i come home to an empty apartment in between those trips and then back to the airport for the next city. when i get those moments with my friends or anyone really, where i’m in one place for a moment and not moving, i cherish them. when people waste those moments or hurt for whatever reason, i get a little white girl crazy. this was addressed in a very nice way on a hike with a close friend of mine and from here on out i’m working on taking the higher road more often. it’s not cute reacting like a teenager anymore, so i am tucking my tee shirt into my skinny jeans and behaving more better. i encourage you guys to do the same.

in addition to the above statement i would also like to say i love you. and i am sorry if you haven’t heard from me. kurt is here and alive, i have really been working nonstop. this is partially my fault and i will be doing more to say HELLO more often. i will also post more selfies and stories and pics of things i’m doing and where i’m at, but i will NOT post food photos because those are ridiculous. more music playlists coming again if your into my moody roller coaster of jams. mom, i will call you more. nana and papa, you guys too! my friends near and far, thank you for being there in all and anyway that you are. if i’m in a city near you please shoot me a message. we are about to land and the beautiful flight attendant is requesting that this device go into airplane mode.

xo,

kurt