Month: February 2015

anti valentines day

Posted on by princekurt

I know, I know it is so cliché to hate Valentine’s Day. But this has nothing to do with the faux holiday that I truly do not care much about. This year it was day I officially moved into my own apartment. Last year I was on a business trip for a conference in Paris. The most romantic city in the world and it also happened to be Valentine’s Day the week I was there. I had an incredible hotel room with the most beautiful view of the Eiffel Tower and I was very much in love. Things weren’t perfect, but Paris can fix about anything temporarily. This year, I woke up in Los Angeles alone. I then went to have a coffee and proceed to finish packing up what things I had left in my old apartment and move into my new place all aloneness. It was a very stark contrast from last year to say the least. I didn’t walk into a room filled with rose petals and tea, instead I plugged in an air mattress and filled an empty apartment with way too many clothes. I did not get dressed up and have a beautiful dinner, I did drink a few too many cocktails and did my best to not think about how I would go home and sleep by myself. Yes, I will be totally fine and this is the right thing for me at this point in my life. I am smart, I am funny, I tell myself constantly that I am a decent singer, I will be fine. I am fine. But there is no better day to truly feel like you are going to end up alone and with 12 cats in Topanga Canyon in some strange cliff side bungalow than this stupid day. Valentine’s Day 2015, you sucked hard. But I thank you for the struggle, I have always been good at being broken down and rebuilding myself completely. I guess I should also thank the Russian coaching from my childhood. I am ready to take on this next chapter. New home, same job, more traveling, and much more writing. Oh yes, much more writing. Maybe one of these days I will pickup on the whole grammar situation as well. Thank you Saint Valentine, thank you former Russian coaches, and thank you failed relationship.

social media kinda heartbreak

Posted on by princekurt

This one is dramatic. Listen, I don’t know where the hell I stand on all these horoscopes, zodiacs, and compatibility tests. Of course I have taken a moment and read them all, more than once. I still continue to give them a moment of my time. If I don’t like what they say, I will completely dismiss it because how could some robot know about what is really going on in my life? I do know where I stand on heartbreak. I know that heartbreak sucks. I think that I am a good person. By nature I am also a very competitive person. I love very hard and openly. I am stubborn, but always working on that. I make lots of mistakes. I have had my heart broken and it will happen again. I don’t think there are rules in this whole game of love. In fact I don’t think it is a game at all. Maybe that is where it has all gone wrong. We have reached a point where we don’t take the time to give anyone our undivided attention. Of course I could sit here and type out a million times that I too have been guilty of sitting at a table and on my Instagram or Facebook and simply not present with the other person. I have been more excited to receive, ‘likes’ on my location than converse with a person. Social media has opened the flood gates to being bad to one another. A quick dick pic, a drunken Facebook message, a Snapchat to someone you shouldn’t. There isn’t any shame in how we behave, because it’s just a random person. It didn’t really happen, it isn’t really cheating or wrong, is it? I sort of miss the idea of how it used to be. When I would watch films as a kid and the characters would call ‘home’ phone numbers and waited to see each other at school to flirt and hold hands. When breakups happened, they were face to face and everyone cried and sad music played. When the script called to give your lover another chance. A real solid second chance. A time when you didn’t have the fantasy or distraction of endless porn sites and people exposing themselves with a stroke of a key on an iPhone. A time when you didn’t ever feel the need to check someones web history. I always give someone a chance. I am a hopeless romantic yes, and not everyone is. But wouldn’t that be nice? To go on a date, doing something completely random and just being with that someone completely. Put your stupid phone down when you are with another person. Your Instagram can wait, and that Snapchat isn’t going anywhere. Be with that human right in front of you and have a little realness again. Life is too short and the grass will never be greener than it is today.